


Achieving the Impossible

by Lionel_Hoshi_03



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-10-01 21:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20414887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionel_Hoshi_03/pseuds/Lionel_Hoshi_03
Summary: Edelgard can't hide these blue roses forever.





	Achieving the Impossible

**Author's Note:**

> This was a whim and I thank Mira for subjecting me to this torture

The first petal fell at the height of spring during one of Byleth's more intensive lectures.

Not many paid Edelgard's cough any mind. While it was quieter during lectures such as that, it was much harder to keep up. With everyone's mind on terrain tactics, Edelgard was left alone to stare in sheer confusion at the blue rose petal in her palm, perfect in shape as though it had naturally fallen from its flower. Where had it come from? Surely it couldn't have actually flown into the classroom to her. The monastery didn't grow blue roses and Edelgard sat way in the front of the classroom. So how...?

"Edelgard!"

"Y-yes!"

Byleth regarded Edelgard with worried eyes. She seemed to open her mouth to ask something, but instead, she moved along the lecture after issuing a warning.

The stare burned shame in Edelgard's cheeks and forced any questions about the petal down her throat where it came from.

And soon the petals were rocked by the wind.

Edelgard was invited to tea with Byleth per usual on Sundays when they weren't out battling and she kept having the urge to cough which she fought hard to keep at bay. She didn't want to worry Byleth because knowing the kind professor, she'd be under the radar for the rest of the month and told to take things easy. It was always like that with Byleth.

"El, are you okay? If you're uncomfortable or busy, you don't have to stay." Byleth leaned forward on the table, staring intently in Edelgard's eyes as if searching for signs of discomfort. The intensity nearly flustered Edelgard out of her current composure. It was sheer luck that held her together beneath that hot gaze.

"No," Edelgard said, shaking her head. "I enjoy these moments with you, my teacher. I suppose I just got distracted."

"I see. Do you like the tea? I finally got my hands on bergamot as you mentioned earlier. I'll admit, I might not have brewed it correctly since this is my first time." Byleth sheepishly dropped her stare to the table. Just the sight of her embarrassed professor had Edelgard's heart skipping a beat. It was a rare and cherished treat. So much so that Edelgard nearly forgot to reply.

"I'm happy you thought to try. I'm sure it'll be alright anyway. You've gotten a lot better since your first day."

The cough racked at Edelgard so suddenly she barely had enough time to cover her mouth. Her throat itched like something was tickling against it. Byleth shot up from her seat to pat Edelgard on the back until the coughing ceased and Edelgard pulled back to see a few blue petals swimming in her tea.

Were these things coming from...her?

"El, I'm taking you to the infirmary just in case. That was a really bad cough."

Edelgard wanted to protest. She wanted to hold tight to Byleth and tell her that she was fine, that there was no way she could possibly be sick. She wanted to try the tea that Byleth must've worked hard to get right. But she had let Byleth take her hand and lead her to Manuela as the pounding of her heart rang in her ears.

Of course, Manuela had suggested rest for now since it could just be some spring allergy in front of Byleth. However, once the professor left, Manuela turned right around with the most serious expression Edelgard had ever seen on her face.

"Edelgard, do you know what Hanahaki is?"

"I've heard of the name. Why?"

Pity flashed across Manuela's features. "You have an unrequited love."

"What? With all due respect, Professor Manuela, my life isn't like that of an opera. It's probably just a passing cold."

"Edelgard... Hanahaki is a disease that thrives on unrequited love. Your life may not be like a soap opera, but this disease is real and it's going to be difficult to treat. You'll be coughing and vomiting up full flowers then die if you don't do something about it soon."

"Okay," Edelgard slowly murmured. As unbelievable as it sounded, she had indeed been coughing up petals just earlier. She had felt them in her throat and on her tongue. If what Manuela said was true, she couldn't afford to let the symptoms worsen to the point of death. Her plans wouldn't allow that. "How do I treat it?"

Manuela sighed in relief. "Well, if you confess and your love does turn out to be requited, then it will heal itself."

"And if it isn't?"

"There is a spell to get rid of it, but you see, it would remove all of your feelings for that person. You could never fall in love with them again. You should be sure about your actions before seeing me again about it."

Edelgard looked down at her lap. "Unrequited love?"

"You have it bad for the dear professor, no?"

"W-what? No! I couldn't possibly... The professor is..." Edelgard frowned. Did she love Byleth? It was an absurd thought considering Edelgard didn't even have time to be thinking about love. According to her disease, however, she must be in love with someone.

What exactly did that mean, being in love?

\---------

As such, the analysis began.

Edelgard didn't want to waste her efforts on the wrong person, especially if it might ruin her chances of curing the disease herself. She had indeed begged Manuela to just get on with the operation already, but the stubborn woman didn't budge.

"Only once you've at least confessed," She'd said. Honestly, Manuela could be absolutely ridiculous sometimes.

So here Edelgard was waiting for Dorothea to arrive because Byleth was suspect number one and Dorothea was likely Edelgard's best bet at anything related to love. The other students in the Black Eagles were rather...socially inept. It certainly wouldn't do if Hubert knew about this either. He was hostile towards Byleth as is and having her die would be a loss on many fronts.

Edelgard kept a mask over her mouth in hopes to at least hide the flowers as the days progress. It was normal for her to cough at times during lectures so there was no point in hiding that part anymore. And every single time, Byleth watched her with as pained of an expression as a rock could make. Edelgard couldn't look the professor in the eyes anymore because doing so made her cough that much worse.

Dorothea tapped Edelgard on the shoulder, flashing a smile that doesn't meet her eyes, and took her seat.

"Edie, what's wrong?"

"Dorothea... Please, keep this conversation between us."

"Oh, well, of course I will. But now there must really be something wrong. Edie, what is it?"

Edelgard inhaled deeply. "Manuela said I have Hanahaki."

For a long moment, the courtyard stood still as if the Goddess herself had stopped time. Dorothea reflexively gasped and took Edelgard's hands from across the table.

"You don't have it because of me, right? Edie?"

"You? While that would be interesting, no. I don't. At least, I don't think so."

"Oh." Dorothea drew back her hands and remained silent for a few moments. Edelgard took the time to pour them both sweet apple tea which she almost spilled when Dorothea next spoke.

"You like the professor, don't you Edie?"

"Why does everyone think that I'm in love with the professor?"

Dorothea blinked in surprise. "You mean you aren't? Even though you spend so much time with her after classes and you practically ogle at her during her lectures? Even though you so totally get flustered when she so much as brushes against you during a training session?"

"N-no. That's not.. Are... I don't know." Edelgard sank further into her seat with each word that fell from her mouth, her face beginning to flush.

"Edie, look. There's no shame in admitting you like the professor. She's a wonderful person and you can't really help who you fall in love with, you know? Plus, admitting you do so is the first step in trying to get rid of your hanahaki. You're lucky it's the professor so you won't die, but Hanahaki won't go away if the professor doesn't actually love you back."

"What am I to do, Dorothea? I've never... This is my first time."

"Well, you're going to confess, right?"

Confess, yes. Edelgard did plan to confess and she was confident she could. Dorothea was right. The professor would be easy to confess to and this problem could be resolved by tomorrow.

"Of course I am. I can't let this problem continue, especially when we're faced with a mission in the coming week."

Dorothea frowned, her expression darkening. "If you're sure."

\-------

Edelgard had never thought herself an honest person. Ambitious and dutiful, perhaps, but honest is something separate from all of that. The most successful and generous person can be lying through their teeth whenever they feel like it. The same could be said of a house leader Garreg Mach's professors were proud to have in their classrooms. 

"Before our mission, I hope to take you all to practice battles against bandits," Byleth had announced when class began. "I'll be assessing your skills to see who may need extra lessons. As always, these battles will still hold your life in their hands. Please retreat when necessary."

As per usual, Edelgard was placed on the frontlines where she could deflect any oncoming attacks and allow those like Bernadetta or Linhardt pick off the wounded assaulters. Byleth trusted the entire operation on the skills that Edelgard had carefully cultivated in secret, but they were failing. The dirt being blown in from the wind only aggravated Edelgard's cough until she was forced to hide among the foliage, remove her mask, and vomit.

It wasn't the first time.

Admittedly, the vomiting started after the first two months had passed. It was always petals. Blood-soaked petals. Edelgard sometimes excused herself during class to vomit a whole patch of petals in a designated hidden area.

Byleth's familiar footsteps approached from behind as Edelgard was wiping away a stray petal from her lips.

"El, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

This was it. Of all the months that Edelgard had spent tirelessly coming up with some way to confess, this was the prime moment. She lifted her hand to take Byleth's and she had the words in her mind already, but she stopped herself and she really thought. This was the end-be-all. If Byleth rejected her now in the heat of battle, would Edelgard be swallowed up by the petals that plague her so? Could Edelgard even go on fighting anymore?

And... wasn't Edelgard happy enough to just be friends? This hopeful relationship and all the happy moments shared with Byleth wouldn't fade with the procedure. Only the temporary highs of love would vanish. This love wouldn't be a distraction nor would the threat of Hanahaki.

Assume Byleth did accept. Edelgard surely couldn't truly be in love with her forever, right? This was something as simple as hormones or a passing infatuation that would fade once she was crowned emperor. And Byleth as emotionally distant as she was would find Edelgard grating in due time. She was bound to pursue greener pastures as she remained a professor. 

Indeed, there was no reason to trouble the professor with such a silly desire. So Edelgard gave the professor a strained smile and lied through her teeth.

"I'm alright. Just a small scratch."

\-------

When summer was near its end and the plants began to die, Edelgard, too, was beginning to feel faint.

Dorothea and Manuela have been pushing and pushing for a confession. So what if there was the chance that that may happen? It would cure the Hanahaki and Edelgard could say she tried. She could finally take a chance on happiness. And who knows, the Goddess could prove Edelgard's doubts wrong and they remain happily married for the rest of their lives.

It was ridiculous that they could think so highly of love. Wars have been waged and won over it. Various houses saw their power rise and fall with the effects of their affairs. Love was far too risky and unpredictable for Edelgard's tastes. So she, in turn, pushed the both of them for the procedure.

The blue roses have long since bloomed within Edelgard's lungs. Manuela had said that they signify the type of love that she held, and it was a meaning that Edelgard did indeed hold true to her heart. 

Some part of her wanted to take a chance on that.

So when the professor invited Edelgard to the Goddess Tower for "something important", she took the opportunity to practice some sort of confession.

As expected, nothing worked. It came out as a bunch of scribbled disasters that couldn't even explain the basics of how she felt. Eventually, Edelgard all but decided to give up at putting it to fancy words. She was going to take one of Dorothea's ridiculous suggestions and pray that her years of experience wouldn't fail her.

She took one of her old scores, modified it, and practically attempted to Warp herself to the Cathedral where she knew a piano would be left unused today. She would perfect the song as much as she could before Byleth arrived. She would make it known just how much it meant for Byleth to have chosen Edelgard.

Even if she was rejected and swallowed up by the blue roses that plague her.

Edelgard managed three revisions before she heard the clack of Byleth's heels at the entrance. She had made sure to empty herself of any flowers after the second revision so she should have enough time to get through this without making a mess. Her mask remained folded in front of the music scores.

"My teacher."

"El." Byleth raised an eyebrow. "I thought I said to meet me at the Goddess Tower."

"You did. But I have something to show you if that's alright with you."

"Of course."

At first, the song came out hesitant due to Edelgard's trembling fingers. No amount of practice could ever compare to the real performance that only Byleth's ears would ever hear. As the song built itself up, however, Edelgard found her footing. She took the song by storm, trying to pour everything into it. The heavens and hells of love that she knew deep down she wanted to experience with Byleth alone, the inevitable doubts that she hoped would be swallowed up in their happiness, the value of love that could only exist because of its risks, and the broken heart she was putting in Byleth's hands so it could learn to love. 

Everything.

Edelgard didn't want anyone else to feel this way, and she needed Byleth to understand this feeling before she could even think about rejection.

The Hanahaki didn't mean a damn thing. In the end, it only pushed the inevitable. Whatever happened then was only bound to happen later. That thought drove Edelgard through it all without coughing or vomiting. She held it down like she would hold her axe in preparations to deal the killing blow.

Then the song ended.

Fragile as love was, so were the final few chords reverberating throughout the cathedral's unnatural stillness.

And Byleth held the blankest stare Edelgard had ever seen.

"My teacher... No, Byleth, I wrote this song for you," Edelgard began, standing up and approaching the professor slowly. "I want to thank you for supporting me and the Black Eagles all this time. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for showing me all the ways I can change for the good of Fodlan. Thank you for being my teacher and friend." She took Byleth's hands gingerly as though Byleth might shatter if she pressed too hard. "I've grown to cherish your presence and your quirks. I love your jokes, your small smiles, and your passion. I love you, Byleth."

Edelgard did it. She didn't stutter. She may have rambled a lot and made it way too personal for her liking, but she did it anyway. Somehow, she confessed to someone as great as Byleth. But... it was far too quiet, and Byleth was far too unresponsive. Eventually, Byleth took a deep breath.

"Edelgard, I really appreciate that you feel that way about me. It means a lot that you can trust me and take what I've taught you to heart." She shut her eyes, her lips forming a thin line and her fists clenching at her sides. "However, I can't accept your feelings. I'm sorry."

"I see." The itch at Edelgard's throat felt as though it was trying to suffocate her right then and there in that stuffy cathedral. She calmly let loose her held breath, took her mask and scores, and excused herself with a respectful bow, saying, "I will not trouble you further with such trivial matters."

\--------

Almost immediately, Edelgard marched into Dorothea's dorm after vomiting more flowers than ever and dragged her to Manuela's office where she demanded the procedure one last time.

Both of them remained as exasperated as always when it came to this.

"Not until you confess, Edie," Dorothea sighed.

"I did."

"Trust me, sh-... You did?"

"I did."

Manuela and Dorothea exchanged glances of incredulity and concern. Manuela, in particular, seemed almost outraged by the news. Her hysteria grew with her words as she searched for the tome she needed for the procedure.

"That professor! She doesn't even understand her own feelings, much less her student's! What is she thinking? I can't believe her. Honestly, it's like trying to communicate with an attractive brick wall."

Dorothea shook her head. "It won't help Edie to just let it all go. What did the professor say exactly?"

Edelgard rasped her recounting of the event. Even remembering it made her want to go back to not having known love at all. She wanted to bury herself in her plans and her empire. She wanted to change classes and pretend those happy memories hadn't happened. She had told herself, though, that it'd be okay to be friends. She survived all this way simply being a student in Byleth's eyes and nothing more. But no matter how many times she repeated that mantra, the professor's words beat them back down with all the force of a Warmaster's Helmsplitter.

Coughing up another blue rose, Edelgard felt tears prick in her eyes. It all felt so hopeless now. Those grand schemes came undone in just four sentences and that was it.

"She said she can't accept your feelings, not that she didn't like you back," Dorothea gasped. "Edie, you have to seek her out now!"

"That's absolutely absurd. I will not. She already made it clear that she doesn't like me."

Manuela cleared her throat. "If I may interrupt, the professor, as emotionally stunted as she is, knows she likes you. Now, I don't know why she insists on putting up on act like this, but you must seek her out at once."

Dorothea added, "Trust us, Edie! If the way the professor looks at you and dotes on you isn't obvious enough, do you know how much time she invests in you? The gifts and special brews she tries so hard to obtain for you? Oh, by the Goddess, Edie, she's literally obsessed with you whether she believes it or not."

The words sank into Edelgard's muddled brain one-by-one and soon she found herself instinctively picking her scores back up and rushing out of the office.  
Only, the strength in Edelgard fell apart as nausea forced her to her knees where she vomited another round of blooming flowers in the middle of a hidden alley shortcut. Even her disease was telling her that it was already too late. No matter how much hope Dorothea and Manuela tried to instill into her brain, the clear-cut rejection that Byleth had so easily given was the more concrete evidence.

Edelgard had an unrequited love that she was going to die for.

\--------

When Edelgard opened her eyes, Byleth was kneeling beside her with a blue rose in her palms.

"Professor?"

"El..." Byleth dropped the flower and gently helped lift Edelgard into a sitting position. "Are you still feeling faint?"

"No, I... No. Professor..." Edelgard wheezed as a stray petal caught in her throat. She couldn't hold back the succession of coughs that came afterward no matter how hard she tried. Byleth watched in horror, rubbing the small of Edelgard's back reassuringly.

"Professor, you like me back, don't you?"

Byleth's eyes widened and her hand fell. "Why do you say that?"

"Do you?"

"El, what are you..." Byleth sighed. "I told you already. I can't accept your feelings."

"Why not?"

"Because you deserve so much better, El. You're going to be the emperor of the Adrestian Empire. You have so much knowledge on things I didn't even know existed until I came here. In trust, you're the one guiding me. And me? I can only fight, and I couldn't even use that to protect my father. El, I love you. I really do. I don't want this affection to be anything less in the future than it is now. I don't want you to wake up one day and realize how utterly useless I really am. I can't even guarantee you that I'll make you happy. Hanahaki or none, I don't want you to waste your time on someone like me."

Edelgard turned the words over in her head. It was the most Byleth had ever spoken outside of lectures. If anyone else had heard her, they would've certainly been shocked to think that the professor had it in her to talk so much. This was Byleth in a vulnerable position. This was a sight reserved only for Edelgard.

"What does it matter? We can guide and teach each other in what we know as it always has been. We can protect each other. No money, title, nor skill will ever change how I feel, and I would never ask you to be my partner if you didn't make me happier than I could've ever dreamed to be. Who do you take me for?"

Byleth once again regarded Edelgard with a neutral expression, but mirth danced in her eyes. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against Edelgard's. A soft, chaste kiss. "Edelgard von Hresvelg. My El."

Edelgard hummed, feeling the itch in her throat slowly fade. "And you are Byleth Eisner. My teacher."

And in her heart, Byleth was her blue rose, achieving the impossible.

**Author's Note:**

> https://twitter.com/LeonTeran2
> 
> If you want to stay up to date with what I'm writing and such hahaha


End file.
